The Original You

This world is ever changing. From one day to the next what was considered of supreme value doesn't matter anymore. Technology, religious beliefs, laws, career choices, investing choices, and even our feelings about ourselves are ever changing. How in the face of this ever changing world do we find a sense of stability and safety? If everyone and everything is changing how do we find the necessary courage and faith to thrive on this ever shifting foundation? If the foundation is moving how do ever build a house? Let me delve into this a little by telling you that I am scuba diver. As a diver I am told to never swim against a current, but rather to float along with the current. And, if I have to swim against a current only do so when it is extremely mild and will not put me in any danger. Life is like that of diving. It is not wise to try and force a solution to something that will not respond to that solution. I must try another way. Either I change my approach to the ...

We as a society are always looking to something outside of ourselves to fix us. You can call it an addiction, envy, or restlessness. But, we all know what I'm talking about. It's the belief that if we could just be somewhere other than where we are then everything would be ok. Sometimes though when we get to wherever it is we think we should be, we will then want to be somewhere else. There is a tension between knowing that it's good for us to stay and commit to the situation at hand, and knowing that it is healthy to stretch and grow. How do we stay grounded and follow through with what is happening now, and yet still be willing to explore new and uncomfortable adventures? There is so much to be gained by staying where we are. We gain the satisfaction of seeing something through to the end. Whether that be a relationship, a job, or a dream that have had in mind for many years. The daily effort that it takes, and the willingness to be there for a relationship ...

Healing cannot be rushed anymore than I can speed up the growth of a flower. No matter how much I try to encourage a flower to grow I cannot make it grow at a faster rate. Healing is a process that is different for everyone. Each time I am faced with a healing process I get upset. Even though I'm never quite sure how long it will take I'm sure it's not fast enough. The issues become about timing, deadlines, and who we trust. Let me address timing first. It seems that in life an illness or disaster of some kind always comes at the wrong time. I remember getting really ill one time right before an important performance at Christmas time. The timing was terrible. And, there was absolutely nothing I could have done to get myself well in time for the performance. I ended up performing even though I was incredibly ill. The reasons for doing so are interesting. Why I got so impatient about my healing process that I would further jeopardize my health by performing cou...

Today is my birthday. It's not a milestone birthday, but it still counts. As for all of us, birthdays present an opportunity to look at our lives, and see how we are doing. It also provides an opportunity for healing. Yes, the birthday is just another day. Nothing really happens differently on my birthday than it does on any other day. I wake up, shower, eat breakfast, and then go to work. Same as other days. But, if I allow myself the gift of time and awareness I can use this day as a way to really do some healing work. For many years (and for many reasons) my birthdays were not something that I celebrated very much. Maybe outwardly I looked good to other people, but inside I didn't feel like there was a lot to celebrate. I had to do a lot of work to get out of that mindset of not celebrating. Time has passed. Healing has occurred. Now I look back at my life, and I see that so many years of my life were indeed spent in needless suffering. Or was it needless? This is wh...

Here is something that I have often been challenged with. That is, the idea that failing is part of success. My perfectionist brain wants to tell me that if I am to be a success in this world I must be a success all the time. It also tells me that failure is somehow a setback of some kind. It also tells me that I have a limited number of times that I can fail before I will give up on myself. And, maybe the worst thing of all is that my brain will tell me that I should not have tried in the first place if I was to fail in the end. I am not alone in this thinking. I am absolutely not alone. There are so many people just like me that think that we need to do things right the first time. There are so many that think that we need to create a plan for success that will indeed have no failures at all in that process. What I can tell you is that this thinking is faulty. It's just not correct. First of all, nobody else is expecting perfection from you or me. Anybody who has been a...

The computer doesn't start fast enough. The red light doesn't change fast enough. The waiter doesn't bring the menu fast enough. The car in front of me isn't going fast enough. And, so on... Life just doesn't just move fast enough. I'm not healing fast enough. I'm not changing fast enough. And, so on... I could go on about the many frustrations that I encounter every single day. Every day is an opportunity for me to get angry, bewildered, and downright frustrated that life is not going fast enough. What is this energy of impatience about? Is it that I'm not getting what I want when I want it? Or, is it something deeper? For me, it seems to be about the fear that if things don't move faster I am going to miss out on the things that other people seem to be able to take advantage of. It really is a fear of deprivation. It is the fear that other people now have access to something that I don't, because I could not get there fast enough to get...

Have you ever said something like "All people need to be treated well", and then said something harsh to yourself? Why would we exclude ourselves from the list of "All people"? What is this desire to somehow deem ourselves as less valuable than others? I think there might be some societal issues at play here. Sometimes we hear, "Don't be arrogant or self centered", or "You should not think of yourself". I think that many of society's woes come from people not fully valuing themselves. When we don't value ourselves, we are not going to value others. Because, again if I'm not including myself in the "All people need to be treated well" category, I'm also not going to believe that other people belong in it. This may seem kind of twisted, but I think it works. How many terrible man-made events in history have occurred that stemmed from someone seeing someone else as less than human? Unfortunately, too many ...