Balancing the Need For Risk With the Need For Security

We as a society are always looking to something outside of ourselves to fix us. You can call it an addiction, envy, or restlessness. But, we all know what I'm talking about. It's the belief that if we could just be somewhere other than where we are then everything would be ok.

Sometimes though when we get to wherever it is we think we should be, we will then want to be somewhere else.

There is a tension between knowing that it's good for us to stay and commit to the situation at hand, and knowing that it is healthy to stretch and grow. How do we stay grounded and follow through with what is happening now, and yet still be willing to explore new and uncomfortable adventures?

There is so much to be gained by staying where we are. We gain the satisfaction of seeing something through to the end. Whether that be a relationship, a job, or a dream that have had in mind for many years. The daily effort that it takes, and the willingness to be there for a relationship of any kind gives us a sense of self esteem. It is gratifying to know that we made a promise and kept it.

There is also much to be gained when we step out of our comfort zone, and try something we never have before. When we try something new we get to work through our fears. We discover that what we were afraid of almost never comes true. Can you imagine if nobody ever left their comfort zone, and just kept doing whatever they were doing? The world would be a much less interesting place for all of us. The true pioneers in this world are those willing to create a new thing. I am grateful for these courageous people who teach all of us that we can create the life that we want for ourselves.

In my own life I have been guilty of jumping out of all kinds of relationships, because something got uncomfortable and I didn't want to deal with it. I have also been guilty of staying way too long in a situation that stopped working years and even decades ago. Moving on from those situations absolutely was the best thing I could have done for myself.

How can we know when it is right to keep doing the same thing, and when it is time to take a risk and step into something new? It has to do with motive. It's about intention. I invite you to think about a current situation in your life today in which you are not sure whether you should stay in or leave. 

 Some good questions to ask would be:

1. Why do I want to move to this new job, relationship, or living situation?

2. What do I think will improve for me if I take on this new endeavor?

3. Am I trying to escape an uncomfortable situation because I don't want to deal with an uncomfortable issue? Am I in avoidance mode? Am I doing the "geographic cure"?

4. If I stay in this situation what dream am I giving up? Am I thinking small by staying and not taking a risk?

5. What is my experience with doing similar moves in the past? Did they work out when I stayed? Was it better when I moved on? Does this current situation resemble any from my past?

These questions will help us to discover whether it is time to stay and work through something, or take a risk somewhere else.

My truth is that if we get quiet enough, talk to those who know and care about us, and trust our intuition we will absolutely know what the right thing to do is. Trusting ourselves is trusting life.

Sometimes the greatest risk is to take action before we are ready. And, sometimes the greatest security is to do bold action, and learn that we will still be safe.