The Original You

  Do I really know what you need? I don’t. I used to think I did. Thinking I knew what other people were supposed to do used to get me into all kinds of trouble. I used to know why my friend was rude to his spouse. I used to know how to fix the economy. I used to know how certain politicians should act. I used to know how my friends should react to me. I used to know how my best friend can improve his marriage. I used to know all kinds of things. What I know now is that other people are the best judge of what is best for them. Most of the time. Allow me to be real here. There are lots of people in the world who do not have the ability to make choices that are for their own good. Therefore, we have medical surrogates, care takers, and other kind people looking out for those who are vulnerable and cannot make their own decisions. We need the care takers in this world who are willing to protect the vulnerable. I’m grateful for those who want the best for those who cannot

Joy. Is it possible to live a joyful life all the time? What would that even look like? Would you even want that? Wouldn’t being in joy mean that I must be in denial about all the trials and difficulties of this world? I contemplate this idea of joyful living as I look out at the panorama of life. I turn on the tv, look at the internet, listen to the pain of friends and family. Where is the joy? Is it possible to feel it during all of this? Yes. Joy is possible. Joy is a choice. It cannot be dependent upon what is happening or not happening around me. The joy I’m talking about is not the kind of joy that we associate with celebrating or taking a Pollyanna view of life, where everything works out perfectly for everyone in the end. The joy I’m talking about is the kind of joy that will carry you through that most difficult and painful of circumstance. This is the joy that doesn’t wait until the storm passes. This is the joy that believes in things unseen. This is the joy that will be abl

I woke up this morning in a lot of physical pain. I tried walking to the bathroom but could not except with the help of my wife. My ankle was slowly getting sorer every day, but today was the day when I could not walk under my own steam. Thank God for my caring wife. Yes, I went to the podiatrist and got it evaluated. The result is that there is some issue with my tendon, and I need to wear a boot for three weeks. I’m only going to complain for a moment. Lots of people have it far worse than me right now. But I do need to say that it really stinks and that I feel sad about it. Ignoring those feelings or pretending that everything is fine is not good either. Even getting angry at the situation is probably healthy right now. Anger, sadness, and frustration are a part of life. They are normal healthy feelings. I know people who pretend that situations that are awful are not a problem. I don’t think that’s healthy. What I’m trying to convey is that the way through this situation is accepta

I am here for a reason. So are you. One of the greatest thrills of being alive is discovering why we are here. What is the purpose of all of this? Is there some greater mission that we are fulfilling that gives our life a meaning and purpose? Having a meaning and purpose gives me fuel for pursuing the things in life that matter to me. It gives me something to look forward to. It lifts my spirits and gives me confidence. I didn’t always have that feeling. For many years I had no idea what my purpose in life was. I just kind of meandered through life hoping that something would happen that would get me motivated. It wasn’t until I met my wife ten years ago that I began to find my purpose. When I was divinely led to her, I was given a purpose. I discovered that one of the reasons I am alive is to learn how to love myself and to love another person. For most of my life those two concepts seemed elusive. I was not a kind person to myself, and I certainly was not kind to other people. What l

  Ten years of joy. This is what this has been. On August 13, 2010 my wife Rachel and I began living together. One of the best decisions I have ever made. I want to take a few moments to tell you why this has been so good for me in hopes that it may inspire you to take this beautiful chance on love someday (if you haven’t already). When we decided to live together it was a decision that was obvious. There was no question about whether it was going to be a good thing or not. Rachel and I had been dating for some time. When it came time to talk about living together, we were both excited. Living together has always been fantastic. The moving process for me was not so great. I tend to hold on to lots of stuff, and her moving in was a great opportunity for me to find out what stuff was important and what was not. Letting go of those “unimportant” things was not easy for me. I have tended to associate some of my self-worth with the amount of stuff I own. This process challen

  I must turn it all over. Every day. Every moment of every day. We are all living in a time of great uncertainty. The plans you made for this year are probably different from the reality of what is happening. The health of your family, security of your job, and even your living situation may be in doubt. It’s all a big question mark right now. As I contemplate my future, I realize that there are many unknowns. I turn it over. I turn it all over. When I turn over my life, I need to know that there is a loving force in the universe that is taking care of me. Without this loving force in my life I would be in tremendous fear. Throughout the pandemic there have been many moments when I have doubted the security that I have relied on.   Thankfully those moments are short and very fleeting. On a daily and moment to moment basis I have been turning everything over to God. Every cancellation, every disappointment, every fear, every frustration, and every anxiety are repeated

In a deep meditation I felt the beating of my heart. I was so still that I felt the beautiful vibration in my chest. I heard it. I drank in the beauty of its magnificent power. Sitting in the stillness came a realization that forever changed my life. It might change yours. I didn’t have the power to make my heart keep beating. I couldn’t get into my chest and make it pump not even one beat. I was unable to make it transport the blood from my heart to all the vital organs of my body. I had and still don’t have any power over this. It’s very humbling and awe inspiring to understand the magnitude of this truth. This understanding invites me to ask some questions. Who or what is keeping my heart beating? How long will it keep beating? Will I have any say in keeping it going beyond how long it wants to beat? The most difficult thing for me in all of this is knowing that someday my heart will stop beating. There is no getting around this truth. It’s going to happen. While I’m still here I wi

  Community is everything. We all need it. It’s not a want; it’s a need. From the beginning of time, we have all sought after community. It is how we have survived. From the very first cave man needing his friend to watch his family while he went hunting, to today when we need each other to help keep a roof over our head. God created us this way on purpose. It was in the plan for us to need each other. There are many people struggling right now with how they must interact with the communities that matter to them. You may be one of them. You are not alone. Students are having to be away from their social supports at school. Congregants are away from their churches. Workers are away from their offices. These changes in our communities can cause stress and anxiety. We are not used to having things change so rapidly in such a short period of time. It’s one thing to experience societal changes. This is normal. It’s not normal or comfortable to have so many things change all at

I have a tenuous relationship with the word uncomfortable. I want to be comfortable all of the time, and I realize that my growth comes from being in uncomfortable situations. For much of my life I believed that being comfortable meant that I was making great progress in my life. I wanted the nice house with the nice car. I wanted the job that didn’t cause me any stress. The issue isn’t with wanting these things. It’s in believing that I need to be comfortable all of the time. As I get older, I am learning that it’s good for me to be put into uncomfortable situations. I need to be around people who look different than me, who are in different economic situations, and have different life experiences than me. This is the only way that I grow. I need to try new things and experiment. I think of the caterpillar who needs to push against the walls of the cocoon to become the beautiful butterfly. By pushing its way out of the cocoon, the wings become strong enough to f