Competition

Competition.

What images does that word conjure up for you? Are there words like excitement, joy, and hope. Or, do you have feelings of anxiety and fear?

Everyone reacts to competition in a different way. In our world, competition is a reality that we all have to deal with. We deal with it in our careers, our schools, and sometimes even relationships with others. It is not something that is going to go away.

I believe that for creative people, competition gets especially complicated. We want to be seen in the world. We want our works to be seen by others. When we create, we are not only creating for ourselves. We are creating, because we want a connection with our audience. Creative works are meant to speak a message to the world about what is important to us.

Let me take a moment here, and talk about my own personal relationship with competition. I am personally not a big sports fan. Once in a while, I will enjoy a good game. In fact, when the Olympics are on I love watching the amazing talent I see.

But, here is where it gets complicated for me,  why I don't like to play competitive sports with anyone, and why nobody likes to play sports with me. It's that I don't want anyone to lose.  In my world everyone should win the game. Every event should end in a draw. That just doesn't go over very well with the other players. Participants and audiences want a clear winner and loser. I cannot and will not offer that. 

Does this mean that I am not competitive? I will allow you to draw your own conclusions about that...

I would offer here that as an artist we strive for excellence. I absolutely do have the "impostor syndrome" that many writers speak of. What writer exists that is not thinking about how their book is measuring up against someone else's?

Here is my solution to this enigma of being an artist, trying to have my work seen against the backdrop of a million other writers, while trying to stay true to my own spirit. It is that I try to only compete with myself. But, even that is fraught with challenges. I don't wish to be against any part of myself.

I have only been in the writing community for a very short time. My expression of myself has only recently been showing up publicly. What I find in the writing community is that there is a very healthy support of  one another's work. There is this desire to lift each other up, and to help spur each other on to create.  This is a wonderful discovery for me. I don't feel that competitive nature that I have often felt in other areas of my life. It is a refuge. It is healing all of those competitive traumas that I experienced in my youth. For this, I am extremely grateful.

Whether you are an artist or not, I invite you to explore this issue of competition. I would love to hear how you deal with it.